Boring Stories

There was once a bum named Matt
who really loved to chat
he’d plague passersby
with tales ’bout his eye
and how it once belonged to a cat!

Isn’t it interesting that people that are of no interest to us rarely seem to have anything interesting to say.

A different normal

There was yet another girl named Mary
who was really quite contrary
from the very time she woke
she lied when she spoke
honestly, t’was just very scary!

The question of what is normal and what is not, is quite an arbitrary one. As one experiences more and one’s boundaries expand, the scope of what can be considered normal inevitably grows.

Stupid Questions

There once was a girl named Mary
who insisted on making a query
she nagged, begged and snorted,
till her lover retorted:
“Cos you’re ugly and too fat to carry!”

Contrary to popular belief, there are definitely such things as stupid questions. Wisdom results in the ability to distinguish which questions can add or create some value, and which can only lead to an unfortunate outcome. Unfortunately, wisdom is as rare as common sense.

Public perception

There once was a Rasta named Jabu
who had a strict diet of bamboo
Soon he looked like a Panda
from Northern Uganda
and was put in a cage in a zoo!

The general public is not particularly bright, and what they consistently do is treat you based on their perception of you. This perception, unfortunately, need not have much to do with reality.

Things change

Julius Malema photo

There once was a young man named Julius
whose expulsion was totally vicious
For the ANC you see,
now consider him debris
though once they thought him delicious!

No matter how safe you think you are, you never know when things might change for the worst. It’s smart to be prepared.

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Photo Source: Stephane De Sakutin/ AFP/ Getty Images

Tells

In Dublin lived a man named Dick
who was the most annoying prick
he would sneer, all sly
whenever he would lie
then he’d give his moustache a lick!

The poker players amongst you will know that a tell is something – usually an action or expression, that gives away the reality of a situation. If you’re confused about whether someone is being truthful, observe carefully – you have more information than you think you do.

The Suede Glove

There once were 3 girls named Deepa
each single one of them was a keeper
but they were unlucky in love
so they wore a suede glove
to show they were Cupid’s grim reaper!

In the worst of hardships, there is often something quite comforting you can do that will make you you feel just a little better.

Much to be revealed

There was once an ape named Joshua
who claimed he’d never eat foie gras
till his girlfriend found out
that he lied through his snout
and drove over him with a car!

We playfully disguise the truth at our own peril – turns out it’s pretty good at hide and seek.

All in the mind – a Medical Limerick

A man was dying from cirrhosis,
necrosis, fibrosis and thrombosis
turns out in fact
he was a hypochondriac
under the influence of self-hypnosis!

Sometimes, it really just is all in the mind – so be careful what you tell yourself, or what others tell you to be true.

Magic that lasts

Green, Purple and Blue Yarn image

There once was a girl named Shaan
who was enchanted by a ball of yarn
twas green, purple and blue,
made by an evil shrew
who had been locked away in a barn

If such a thing exists, human nature makes it more amenable for black magic to last. Yes, yes – the ambiguity in that sentence is quite deliberate.

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Photo credit: Adapted from Nikki Wheeler’s photo on her blog. FYI Nikki is certainly not an evil shrew locked away in a barn. Actually, she’s quite a talented artist worth checking out – http://nikkiwheeler.blogspot.com/2009/01/food-colored-yarn.html