All in the mind – a Medical Limerick

A man was dying from cirrhosis,
necrosis, fibrosis and thrombosis
turns out in fact
he was a hypochondriac
under the influence of self-hypnosis!

Sometimes, it really just is all in the mind – so be careful what you tell yourself, or what others tell you to be true.

Magic that lasts

Green, Purple and Blue Yarn image

There once was a girl named Shaan
who was enchanted by a ball of yarn
twas green, purple and blue,
made by an evil shrew
who had been locked away in a barn

If such a thing exists, human nature makes it more amenable for black magic to last. Yes, yes – the ambiguity in that sentence is quite deliberate.

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Photo credit: Adapted from Nikki Wheeler’s photo on her blog. FYI Nikki is certainly not an evil shrew locked away in a barn. Actually, she’s quite a talented artist worth checking out – http://nikkiwheeler.blogspot.com/2009/01/food-colored-yarn.html

Self-help books

Self-help books typically help
sort seaweed from kelp
but those not obtuse
or without a screw loose
know better than to yelp!

Sometimes, if people are warm and happy in their pile of shit, it is better to just leave them be.

Branding Cows

There was once a man named Bartholomew
who because of his name was blue
but he behaved like a cow
which solved his problem somehow
since everyone now called him Moo!

It’s not always easy to shake off negative branding, but with some effort it’s certainly possible.

Misery loves company

There once was an unhappy man
who joined the Ku Klux Klan
there he burned
and tortured all concerned
so the clan shipped him off to Japan!

While misery loves company, most company does not love misery.

A Waste of a Waist

There was once a girl from Guwahati
who was indeed very, very arty
she had great taste
and a fabulous waist
so sad she didn’t like to party

As the old adage goes, it’s not what you got but how you use it that matters.

Old Medicine

There once was a girl named Maria
who was looking for a panacea
so she studied ancient blurbs
and mixed a few herbs
now she needs a cure for diarrhoea!

It is worthwhile remembering that not everything that is deemed to be an age-old or perfectly organic remedy actually does only what it is expected to do. Likewise, it is also probably worth accepting that modern medicines may sometimes cause significant unexpected damage.

Cause and Effect

There was a Sikh man from Durban
who wore a tight pink turban
until a male friend
patted his rear end
now the colour’s much more urban!

People make inferences and decisions based on their observations – if you’d like them to change their inferences and decisions it makes sense to consider changing what they’re observing.

The Easter Bunny

There once was an Easter bunny
who found some lovely honey
but to its dismay
she smiled and said “hey,
first you show me the money!”

Whilst many believe the best things in life are free, a wise few realise that one always pays in some way or the other.

New Beginnings

There once was a man, Damien Lord
who sat around thinking and felt so bored
he went to see a special quack
who put him on another track
– now he’s killing people with a sword!

It’s often impossible to create without destroying something else first.